Taking a break from a relationship: do’s and don’ts for couples

You may still be in love with your partner, but there may be times when you feel like your relationship is going nowhere. Taking a break may seem like a good idea to figure out what the future holds for both partners. This is not a complete and final break, but a temporary separation. It can be good for couples who want some space but don’t want to permanently cut ties. However, you need to follow some rules when taking a break from a relationship.

When should couples take a break?

Many people may wonder if it’s okay for couples to take a break. But taking a break is simply a temporary opportunity for couples to figure out what it feels like not to be together. They can spend time on their personal growth during the divorce, says Dr Vaibhav Chaturvedi, Consultant, Psychiatrist, Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital Indore.

Know when to take a break in a relationship. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Here are certain situations where it may be best for both partners to take a break from the relationship rather than linger.

1. You’re in an on-off cycle

Lovers who are often in on-and-off relationships can get caught in such a cycle. That’s because they don’t know if they can improve their bond after each breakup.

2. You don’t know if you have a real connection

If you want to know if you have a real bond with your partner, but you’re not sure, you need to take some time away from your relationship.

3. You find yourself avoiding your partner

If you’re making excuses to be alone, something is wrong. Many of us love our alone time, but if you’re actively avoiding your partner, that can be a problem, says the expert.

4. You’re afraid of getting into an argument

If you feel the need to lie because you’re so afraid of getting into a fight, your relationship has definitely reached a point where you need to take a break.

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Taking a break can help couples

Taking a break gives you the space you both need. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, this can feel suffocating. Space gives you the opportunity to realize whether you are happier with your partner or without him. Let’s look at more benefits of breaking “us time” and taking “me time”!

couple fighting
Taking a break can save your relationship. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

1. Taking a break helps you figure out priorities and life goals

Some time apart gives you the chance to focus on what you want in life. If you don’t have the same priorities and life goals as your partner and you can’t make compromises, then unfortunately this relationship isn’t for you.

2. Taking a break helps you learn if you’re a good fit for each other

There may be some differences between you and your boyfriend, but this doesn’t mean you’re not compatible. If you’re unsure about your compatibility, taking a break is a good thing.

3. Taking a break gives you a chance to miss each other

Remember the saying: absence makes the heart grow fonder. We tend to forget why we fell in love, and distance can help you remember this.

4. A break in a relationship can save the relationship

Taking a break can be seen as a step before breaking up, but it isn’t. It can save a relationship, make you realize if you have neglected or taken your partner for granted.

Rules for taking a break in a relationship

There are some do’s and don’ts that couples should keep in mind during a break.

Do’s in a temporary break

1. Be honest

It can be difficult, but be honest about how you view your relationship, what you hope for, and how you feel.

2. Accountability

Take responsibility for your feelings and actions before, during, and after the break, says Dr. Chaturvedi.

3. Determine what a break means to you

We have different definitions of relationship breakdown, so it’s important to discuss what it means for you and your partner.

4. Set a time limit

Before taking a break, determine the end date, as taking an indefinite break can lead to relationship anxiety.

5. Set clear boundaries and expectations

By setting rules and healthy boundaries, you minimize the risk of hurting your partner. Breaks can be difficult when you’re so used to talking to your partner every day.

Don’t do this when you take a break

1. Don’t abandon your responsibilities

If you and your partner’s finances are intertwined, taking a break can be a little trickier. So discuss with your partner in advance how you will fulfill your responsibilities to each other during the break.

2. Don’t take a break to avoid a breakup

Some people want to take a break from the relationship when they really should cut ties. Yes, some problems can be solved by taking time off, but not everything can.

3. Don’t force getting back together

A break can come to an end if you and your partner decide not to get back together. Just don’t force your partner to come back to you.

Taking a break can raise questions and doubts. If you feel the need, you can also go to a therapist without your partner.

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