Those of us who are married or about to tie the knot surely know the feelings of nervousness before the D-day. While these pre-wedding jitters may be a mix of both excitement and anxiety, they are much more intense than the typical butterflies in our stomachs we feel before starting something new. A wedding represents the beginning of a new life and brings with it some nervousness. How much of this is normal is a question we often ask ourselves. So, before you let pre-wedding jitters get the best of you, find out why they happen and how to get rid of them.
Are pre-wedding jitters normal?
“Is he the right choice for me?”, “Am I making the right decision?”, “Why do I feel this way?” – these are common questions a bride can ask before the wedding day. Amid stressful preparations, pre-wedding jitters or second thoughts are common, Dr Anu Goel, counseling psychologist, hypnotherapist and past life regression therapist, tells Health Shots.
“It’s completely normal to get jitters at a wedding. It’s fear playing on you. For a girl, she changes hair, house, place… It’s a total life change for her and so it’s completely normal to get these jitters. For a boy, he gets an almost stranger in his home, who has to adapt to his family. Even if he lives alone, it is never easy to get used to a new person,” says Dr. Goel.
According to a UCLA study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, 38 percent of women and 47 percent of men, the group they chose, admitted to being insecure and hesitant about getting married. So that’s how ‘normal’ it is!
Also read: Say goodbye to pre-wedding jitters with these quick and easy tips
What does it mean to get cold feet?
While jitters or second thoughts are common before marriage, people even experience the feeling of wanting to leave everything behind and run away. Dr. Goel says she has many patients who have gone through this feeling. The pressures of married life can take their toll on anyone. “Everyone gets nervous. Some people laugh and show it, some people cry, it depends from personality to personality, but everyone gets nervous. There are people who get cold feet and also want to run away from marriage. If someone gets cold feet, it doesn’t mean they don’t love the person they’re marrying. It just means they’re too scared to make the first move. They don’t know if they will be successful or fail. Girls in particular leave their homes and move to a completely different environment. Yet most of us do our best to cope and be strong,” she explains.
How do you get rid of pre-wedding jitters?
Select topics you are interested in and let us customize your feed.
Although we often feel nervous, none of us want to become a bridezilla on our wedding day and we are looking for ways to say goodbye to our stress and worries. Dr. Goel gives us some practical ways to deal with pre-wedding jitters.
It’s a good idea to seek premarital counseling to get help before you get married so you know what you’re getting into and what to expect. This will keep you from becoming even more scared. Once you know what you’re getting into, you’ll know how to work on the marriage.
Accept your feeling
Ignorance is not the way forward here, and ignoring your feelings can only make the situation worse. The way to get over it is to accept what you feel. Once you accept what you’re feeling, you can deal with it.
Plan things well
If everything is well planned and you know the pros and cons of the situation you find yourself in, it will be easier to accept it.
To have conversations
Talking to friends, family and expressing your emotions will definitely help. Talking to your loved ones, telling them how you feel and exchanging notes is a reliable way to know how things are going. Everyone has experienced the same feelings and can identify with them.
Instead of trying to organize the wedding, stay away a little. Leave the organization part to someone else. Try to relax and unwind. Get a spa treatment, enjoy breathing exercises and exercise in general. Try to enjoy the wedding.
Don’t get caught up in the politics of the wedding. The more you get involved, the more jitters you get. Try to stay away from the negativity, all weddings have some negativity or the other. Be in a bubble where you are happy.
Look at the positive things you feel. Express emotions positively. Yoga also helps in inhaling positivity and inhaling negativity. Try to be calm.